Ouran Highschool Fight Club
by hiraikoneko
Summary: When one looks at the Host club, it is only one side of the coin they see. While 'heads' shows you classy gentlemen who spend their time flirting with princesses, 'tails' tells a completely different tale. These handsome boys aren't just knock-outs in the looks department, because when school's over and the guests are gone, it's not flowery words they're handing out. AU


**OURAN HIGHSCHOOL FIGHTCLUB**

Punch, punch, fuck shit up!

(Fight! Fight! Fight!)

I see you come, I watch you go; you never seem to leave me, though.

So is this fun or hate? We'll see...you're makin' me angry!

Inside my dreams, you're all I see. Well, all I see is you and me.

Flee, maybe, or fight? I find I really don't care

If I had to choose a knife, in this tunnel of violence,

Maybe I could take this chance...maybe you're my foe,

And I would like to find a fool like your to take me on,

And with one hit I could stop time, and you'd fall in love with war.

Tomorrow's far away; please place your bets in today.

Just you and me in a bloody ring...and one will always black out in pain.

(Fight! Fight!)

Maybe it's just fun?!

* * *

><p>-1-<p>

The door shut with a thud, much like the individual who closed it. Dull. Or at least, that's how Fujioka Haruhi was viewed by much of the student body, here at Ouran Academy (for the extremely rich and pompous).

"This school has three libraries...isn't there anywhere quiet to study?" Haruhi asked the silent halls as the honour student left the din in the library far behind.

'_For god's sake, I just want to study for that damn test..._'

Finally, the first year found what had to have been an unused room...there were no classes in the 3rd Music Room.

Haruhi opened the door, and was greeted by a wave of swirling rose petals. Six voices called out in welcome.

'_What the hell?_'

As the petals cleared, Haruhi saw that there were six attractive males all posing before the door.

A short blond holding a stuffed rabbit looked forward eagerly, looking rather adorable.

A taller blond with violet eyes seemed to be the main member of their group, holding his head high. He was seated in a throne like chair.

Behind him stood a boy with dark hair and glasses who looked coolly at the door.

A taller, black haired boy stood with his back to the glasses guy, looking blankly at Haruhi.

To the other side of the violet eyed boy stood two teens who were identical copies of each other. The only way to tell them apart the way their orange hair was parted...and the one on the left had a slight discolouration on his left eye-

Like someone had punched him in the eye, and then he borrowed his sister's cover up...

'_Who the fuck are these freaks?_'

"Oh. It's just a dude." The twin on the left said, and almost instantly, the little group spread out, no longer interested.

The door slammed shut behind Haruhi, and the teen quickly spun around, desperate to escape from the strange people in this room.

"Hm?" The cold second year looked at Haruhi with an uninterested look in his eyes, "Koaru, Hikaru, isn't that a student in your class?"

"Yeah," The twins said, looking at him with a shrug, "but he doesn't talk much so we don't really know anything about him."

'_Why the hell would I want to know you?_' Haruhi growled mentally, wanting only to escape.

"I never thought the school's honour student would be so openly gay..."

'_Wait-wait-wait- Did he just call me gay?! I'll...I'll-_'

"O-Openly what?" Haruhi questioned.

"AH!" The violet eye one shouted, "You're Fujioka Haruhi, the first year honour student!"

Haruhi rolled her eyes before she looked around the room. A vase sat on a table, like many of the others in the room, but it lacked the rose bouquet that the other pieces of pottery held.

She stepped forward to take a closer look, "It's kinda creepy that you know my name."

"But everyone knows you! You're a commoner with the audacity to make it into Ouran Academy as an honour student!"

'_Do they really need to repeat 'Honour Student'? And what do they mean by commoner?! They aren't that rich...are they?_'

"You poor little piggy, faced to live the life of a commoner, while valiantly trying to match the intellect of your better. I must solute you for your hard work, fighting such a terrible, forever losing battle. And a man of your sexual orientation must face so many horrible, cruel people who's minds are too narrow to possibly perceive that you are an ordinary person just like them-"

By now, Haruhi was losing it.

"And of course, you cannot allow your parents to ever find out, lest they kick you out onto the streets, where you would be forced to sleep out in the cold -although I suppose your home isn't that warm anyway, right, Piglet?-"

The muscles under Haruhi's left eye appeared to twitch from time to time, and the teens seemingly delicate hands clenched into tight fists. The blond who continued to ramble, and by now, the honour student wasn't sure home much longer the calm expression could be held before all hell broke loose.

The other boys in the room began to watch, noticing the way the small brunette seemed to shake with what some of them realized was rage. It would appear Mount Fujioka was about to erupt.

He came up and wrapped his arms around Haruhi's shoulders, pulling the younger teen in closer, "But don't worry, because I, Tamaki, the princely type am here to sweep your thoughts away from all your troubles. Trust me, commoner, money will be the last thing on your mi-"

'_Sorry Mom._'

The fist flew out before anyone could truly understand what had happened. The so-called 'King' laid flat on his back, staring up at the enraged honour student. Around him lay the shattered shards of the expensive vase that Haruhi had noticed only moments ago.

"I'm not gay! And who the hell do you think you're calling a pig?! You're the one who eats like a god damn 'king'!"

The black haired boy adjusted his glasses, "Well Tamaki, will we be pressing charges?"

The blond sat up, wiping a small amount of blood from his face, which was flowing from the split lip Haruhi had so kindly given to him.

"No." Tamaki said, "You know the saying 'When in Rome, do as the Romans do' correct?"

"Wait...you want me to fight naked in a coliseum?"

"Close, but not quite, my dear piglet. You se, you will be joining our afterschool activities, as a member of the Ouran High school Fight Club!"

"And that vase that you just destroyed was worth eighty million yen." The boy who had spoken before said, smiling at Haruhi in a way that promised a painful death.

Haruhi's blood ran cold. '_How am I supposed to pay for- wait, did he just say fight club!?_'

"So...you will also be participating in the Host Club activities that take place here in this very room!" Tamaki said, "In effect, you are now our dog."

'_Mom...I dun fucked up._' The small brown haired teen thought, frowning slightly, '_I know I promised you not to beat the shit out of anyone again...but I don't think I can keep that promise without going to jail...I'm sorry._'

* * *

><p><strong><em>I-I...I don't know what this is. I swear...It just...happened. This is probably one of the most CRACK-ish things I've ever written...like...really. But hey, my good friend Typhra got this stuck in my head and here we are. <em>**

**_As you can obviously tell, I've...tweaked, their personalities a bit...I mean, they wouldn't have a fight club if they were their normal selves...Hope you all enjoy~!_**


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